|Caine Murdering Able|
I am a sinner, I have always been a sinner, but since that terrifying night at Lord Giovanni’s dinner party I have broken God’s most sacred commandment. My embrace in to this dark covenant with Caine has renewed my faith, no not renewed, but proven without a doubt God’s existence. Now with this proof I must sin daily to exist.
I left the coterie of my fellow newly dammed to search out the meaning of this brutally evil existence after twice witnessing the cannibalism of diablerie. First I travelled back to my residence in Osimo to resign my post as archdeacon, and collect my possessions. The journey was long and harrowing for a lone dammed to undertake. As a mortal when I rested at night, the protection my body needed was trivial. One can sleep under the stars. The dammed, however are not so lucky with God’s light. It was on the journey I wrote a beautiful hymn I planned to present to my beloved sister. I wrote whenever I could and pored myself in to the song, but in the rejected verses I found another tune. Not written for the glory of God, but a dark song for Caine.
It broke my heart to leave my beloved Bishop, who would have me staked to a pole in the central plaza if he knew what I was. Before I traveled to my sisters Abby, I fed my blood to both my lover and my assistant to aid me in my long journey. The light should not be so frightening. I began to snatch a glimpse of the morning sky. The first attempt I hid deep under a balcony on the west side of my apartment. Even as I began to smoke I willed my self to stay to see a hint of blue in the sky. I thought I would be blind, but my sight did return, and with it the need for more blood. We fled the next night.
I continue to sin, and have punished myself, whipping my flesh, but this increased my need for the blood of innocence’s. So I attempted to fast, an utter failure. I resisted for days but the hunger grew so strong I could not contain the devil in me. I do not remember the murder, or murders I committed when I was overcome. I regained my mind covered in their blood. I punished myself brutally that sad night. Begging the father for forgiveness I knew would never come, and again I went out a dawn to be consumed by the father’s wrath. The fear that overcame me was too intense to resist. I ran from the sun again a coward.
In Fossacesia I planned to present myself to my sister as proof of God’s existence. She promptly rejected, and cursed me. Again we fled, this time with a mob set on us. Elia, my assistant was gravely wounded in the violence. I knew the power in my blood so I attempted to save him with Caine’s curse as my sire had embraced me. I failed and Elia died, my blood on his lips. It was then I decided since I had been unable to burn myself in Gods light I would have to find a mentor to replace my sire.
My lover Assunta and I traveled to Bologna where with the help of my school day allies, The Order, I had a strong coach built so we could travel during the day. I also hired a young man, Orfeo, as a pilot. I fed him my blood on our way to Venice. I sought the Cainite prince there, Guilelmo Aliprando, to present myself and to plead for a tutor. It was in Venice Lord Giovanni’s Ghoul, Lothar, first struck. I did not know what a powerful enemy I had made, for Lothar and his mercenaries have been ruthless. I also didn’t realize that Augustus Giovanni had made his home in Venice. It was entirely the wrong place to go and the Prince expelled us from Venice in any case. Next we went to Milan to speak with Prince After I introduced myself and pleaded my case, the Prince told me he could not help as emissaries had approached him from Augustus Giovanni recently. We left court heart broken and afraid. We were sent into the wild again with no aid or benefactor. That evening however I was approached by a graduate of my alma mater and a member of the order. Eliodoro, an ironic name for one of the dammed, a Lasombra, spent the night with me explaining a great many things and pointed me to France where a Toreador Salianna, Matriarch of the Courts of Love, resides. Eliodoro would send introductions to France ahead, and accompany us short while as he was headed to Turin. While on this short journey I learned as much as possible from Eliodoro.
In Turin we found refuge for a few days but were attacked again by the Ghoul, Lothar. Lothar died in the assault, or so I thought. At the Prince’s court, Eliodoro found a Cappadocian Rosalva, another ironic name, who was on route to France. After introductions we agreed to travel together in my coach. In exchange Rosalva would tutor me on the journey. I felt a need to better understand the enemy I had in Giovanni and this was the closest I could come to them. She witnessed my self-flagellation, attempts at stealing a glimpse of early blue sky on several occasions, drank from my Assunta repeatedly, and taught me how to strengthen myself against harm. At one point, Assunta accidentally drank Assunta dry. I tried to mourn her, but was unable. Perhaps this curse of Caine was stealing my humanity as it had my soul. Rosalva was on her way to Perpignan to study at an abbey. Days turned into a month and soon I was as engrossed in research as Rosalva, and we found ourselves on the way to Anatolia in search of information on Golconda. While my faith is even greater because of this curse, I still see it as a curse and something I must atone for or overcome in some way. Rumors of Golconda may be that way. I also have found myself even more interested in the remaining fragments of Caine’s Book of Nod and sought additional pieces of that ancient text.
We spent months on the journey arguing, debating, fighting and learning from each other. When we arrived I, a mere neonate, was denied entry into the sacred temples. If one could only fly to Bordeaux, the journey back to France was heart breaking. I practiced what Eliodoro and Rosalva had taught me, killed Lothar again, filled my time writing hymns many for our holy father, but more often for Caine, and then killed the ghoul once more. Persistent bastard…I long for such loyalty.
Arriving in Bordeaux I found home amongst my own clan, found a true mentor (Alphonese des Rosier, a powerful Toredor) who encouraged me to join the Knight’s Hospitaler, and found my purpose…Golconda.
Working within the French circle, I came to be well known and well respected for my Faith and revitalized spirit. Once news reached France that Michael had surfaces once again and that he was in the company of past friends of mine. I was asked to return to my friends and find out what I could discover of Michael’s purpose and intent. Michael was never pleased with the French Toreador claiming they were deceived by their vice and disillusioned lacking a vision of the Dream. You had also heard that Michael had information about Golconda which was a personal interest of mine. The Giovanni continue to be a problem, my sire continues to be a problem. And, while I have made my presence in France, I still do not have the support of like type individuals. I am still seen as sired out of necessity not desire which has kept me an outcast. I am despised by my sire which limits my ability to gain influence and status. My beliefs drive me, not my passion for the arts. I see them as one and the same, but others do not. I needed a change and therefore agreed to attend to this task.